Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Letting go!

That's senior, literally, on a high!!!

Have you ever had looked down a deep cliff and felt a sinking feeling inside because you don't know what's down there and you are afraid...no? no problems!!! Either try bungee jumping or just wait till your child turns 11 and then send him on a 5 day adventure camp to an island...

The school has decided to take the children from grade 6 onwards on a camping trip, where the aim is to teach the children about bonding, teamwork and leadership through group activities including kayaking, trekking and personality development exercises...Away from the familiarity of home and school, this trip will, i hope , prove extremely beneficial to him, because he is by nature extremely sports driven. Besides, its never too late to learn to be responsible for yourself.

its his first overnighter too...i brush off those worries that niggle..will he try to show off? what if he gets a bad headache? What if he goes exploring ? its in a beach area, what if? There are have been so many hypothetical scenarios playing around in my head that i could make a whole movie out of it...

I've been uncharacteristically quiet, lest he know how much my heart's trembling...I've stifled my urge to remind him again and again about things...
I've done the next best thing i could. I've involved him in the packing and got him his favorite eats. I've told him to have a wonderful time and that its up to him to make it into a great experience...G feels the anxiety too...i caught him slipping a tiny idol into S's bag for divine protection...we all have our own ways of dealing with our demons...

Today seems to be a day for change...my six yr old is used to people looking out for him always. He's never gone to school alone...when it was playschool i used to take him and now in regular school, his brother is there with him always...

So, today when i saw my six yr-old confidently march off to school, after repeatedly reminding me that he's going to come back home too from the bus stop by himself (they generally walk up by themselves but this time he will be alone) i realised that he too had grown up....they don't need me as much as i need them...

i think this is more my milestone than theirs...its time to let go...again! These strong strides that they take are a long way from those unsteady baby steps...It is a time when you realise that it is possible to feel pride and a twinge of sadness at the same time...

Of course he's going to have a good time...wish i could say the same about me...
It's going to be five long days...

12 comments:

Rambler said...

you know what that means right, you just got promoted into being the permanant problem solver or in other words "fixer", now I guess the kids wont come to you for how to do things, rather come to you when something goes wrong
hehhe just kidding :)

--xh-- said...

proud words of a proud momma :-D

Neera said...

Feeling for u buddy and sending many hugs ur way.

Gauri said...

Oh Suma - I know exactly how you feel. And I did not have to wait till my elder one turned eleven. She'll be nine next month and she's off to a five day "adventure camp" as well, next month.

They're even going to be camping outdoors in a tent by the beach. I've lost count of the butterflies in my stomach !!!

Monika said...

hugs for u proud mamma... and letting go is one of the most difficult things to do... glad that u have realized and have the strength to do it at the right time

Pavi!!!! said...

The way u’ve narrated this and are feeling abt it…u remind me of my parents….When I went to India on a vacation abt 2 mths back..I went out to Brigade Rd,kormangla etc by myself.. my dad was advising me to be careful..to look out for the bad men etc etc,,this advise after having traveled across the seas all alone. Infact my pati(Grandmom)..every single time I’m abt to take a flight will advise me “Don’t take the choc or biscuit or anything a stranger gives u”. Yes I’m 26.To them..I’m their li’l gurl..n will be forever.

Time flies.Children grow up so soon… TOO SOON!

Hope the next 5 days of ur life fly by….

Preethi said...

Aaw Suma.. so this is what is to come my way too!! Hugs to ya girl.. I bet you are going to miss him.. but he is going to be having fun :)

Preethi said...

Forgot to say.. Cheeky went on his first ever field trip last week and that freaked me out.. As I waited to load him into one of the cars, my son had the audacity to ask me.. Mamma why are you waiting? Go home!! I am going to put you in the car and leave I promise I said!! baawwwl!!!

Joy said...

:) Time flies doesn't it? Yes, its more your milestone. They don't realise the same that you do but they don't really need to.

Call G and go for a movie :)

Prats said...

Time flies and before you know it, they'll be looking out for you!! yes, this is your personal milestone...but I know how terrible it can get when they go out like this. But he'll surely coem back and tell you how much he missed being home, or eating your food, and then you'll be glowing and grinning secretly...

HUGS

Mama - Mia said...

:)

wow!! they do grow up so quickly!! am sure both of them will enjoy this new found independence!

and you are the priud momma who made it possible! :)

hugs

abha

Tys on Ice said...

must be getting old....but i always tear up at some of ur cub tales....that slipping of the idol into the bag did it for me...

letting them go...damn...i have a deeper appreciation of my parents now...